Bliggity Blaggity Blog

Certainty

2007-04-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I'll be kicking off a new series for the youth called "Face the Music: Finding God in Your iPod"

It's a series that Granger Community Church did last year and the first week is entitled: iSearch.

The question is asked, "How much certainty does one need to have in order for his/her prayers to be effective?" Do you need to be a confident faith olympian? The answer may suprise you.

Yes, there are examples in the Bible where people received miracles as a result of their astonishing faith. Faith like the Roman Centurion who told Jesus there was no need for him to actually come to the house to heal his servant but rather to just say the word so he would be healed. This level of faith even astonished Jesus.

But what about when we're not so certain? What does God do with the doubters/questioners/etc. Where does God set the bar when it comes to our sense of certainty in praying to Him?

Bottom line: God desires authenticity over certainty. God, who judges our hearts and already knows what really dwells within, would rather we operate in authenticity than some fake conjured up level of certainty.

Dust off the ole blog...

2007-04-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

*TAP* *TAP* *TAP*

Hello?

*TAP* *TAP* *TAP*

Helloooooooo?

Is anybody there?

hmmmm.

*TAP* *TAP* *TAP*

Oh...hey! Yeah..I'm still alive. No, I didn't OD on the Christmas candy. I just sort of lost time and motivation to post anything here on the blog. Maybe I need to update or make a change.

Because...(and those of you who know me in real life will know I've been on this kick lately)

Change precedes Progress. But Challenge precedes Change.

Thank you Andy Stanley.

The ultimate Christmas candy.

2006-12-18T16:43:00.000-08:00

Oh, I'm sure there will be those naysayers who claim the candy cane or choclate covered cherry as the ultimate, but pshhhhhhh.

I present to you, the all-time best Christmas candy...the Christmas Nougat.

These little suckers are incredible. And yes, Brachs® calls them Christmas Nougats. Way to go Brachs®. So if you see these little delicacies in the local grocery store, pick up a pound or two.

Not sure if they are easy on the braces...probably not.

Black Friday

2006-11-27T09:16:00.000-08:00

For those who know me, getting up at 0-dark-thirty on the busiest shopping day of the year is not something I would normally do. But this year I did it, and I'm kind of glad I did. It was an eye opener.

So why did I participate in Black Friday? Here is my story:

It all began on a cold day in February, 1975. Ok ok...I'll skip a little.

Really, it all began with an email from Heather about BF deals at different stores. Apparently, there are whole websites dedicated to nothing more than listing all of the BF deals at various stores so that a savvy BF participant can plan, implement, and execute the most efficient attack for the day.

I looked at the deals at Wal-Mizzle <---hahaha and noticed they had a decent deal on 1GB SD memory cards. So I planned to get up and get one. The night before was a late one for me. I stayed up until about 1:30 congregating with strangers across the planet battling the evil forces of the galactic empire. Yes, it is juvenile, but when you are juvenile, your parents don't let you stay up that late, hence the best time to execute juvenile behavior is actually when you're an adult....cause then you get to do what you want to do. But I digress.

I slipped* into bed and as I did so, I checked to make sure the alarm was set for 6:00 am. It was, but apparently that isn't good enough for BF. Heth, who was awoken by the .0001 micro decibel sound of air molecules being disrupted by the movement of cotton fibers on my pajamas as I walked into the bedroom (ie, light sleeper), indicated that I may actually want to get to the W-Mizzle at 5:00 am because that's when the sales start. 5:00? So I have to set the alarm for 4:30? Bleh. But hey, this was 1GB SD memory we're talking about. And it's not a Christmas gift...this was for the greater good of PDA toting, mp3 playing spouses world wide!

So I closed my eyes, and then opened them, and it was time to get up. Don't you hate nights like that....*blink* TIME TO GET UP! grrr.

So, I take a shower, get dressed, and I am ready to tackle my day. As I'm backing out of my driveway at 4:50 am the first warning sign appears. My neighbor, is backing out of her driveway in parallel to me. I think to myself, "Oh no you don't!" and then quickly realize that I'm not really on a mission to participate in BF...I'm only doing this for the cheap SD card. I yield to my neighbor and let her steam off ahead of me.

There shouldn't be traffic at 4:50 in the morning...but this was BF and there was traffic. Cars from all directions were converging on one spot. Wal-to-the-Mar-tizzle.

I pulled into the Wizzle Mizzle parking lot and my next warning sign smacks me in the face...I shouldn't have to park this far away at 5:00 am. But again, this is BF. I walked as calmly as I could into the store. You see, as I got closer and closer to the store, doubt started to creep in. "What if they are all gone?" "What if my neighbor takes the last one?" "What if I don't get what I want? NEED?" Get a grip on yourself, Nate, you're not here for the spectacle of the thing! You're not one of these people! You just want cheap memory!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH

Must.

Resist.

Swoosh....the automatic doors allow me entrance into a nightmare that I can scarcely describe. TVs Computers, DVD players, Barbies, Bratz, you name it, were piled high in every single cart I saw.

I made my way back to the electronics department where things were probably the most crowded. I felt like I almost needed to keep my arms at my side and just pivot on one foot and look around...moving in any one direction was not really an option. But then, I got into the flow of a mass of people who were making their way along the "Deal Islands" that were set out. My eyes scanned for the tiny little plastic SD cards.

And then I saw them. They were almost hidden on an end-cap to one of these "Deal Islands." When I saw them, I could almost hear the opening to the classic Star Wars soundtrack song "The Duel of the Fates." I grabbed one. And then I thought about the deal that I was getting and I grabbed another. That was a mistake. That sent forth a blend of chemicals into my brain that I can only equate to some sort of consumer adrenaline. My eyes glazed over. My brain started computing percentage of savings for portable DVD players, tvs, and I soon was becoming overwhelmed by the frenzy around me.

Luckily for me, I got out of there with only 3 extra items that I hadn't intended to buy, and I can honestly say that they were all returned later that morning. When the lady at the return counter asked me if there was anything wrong with the items I was returning, I replied, "Nope. They're just fine. I think someone must have just gotten a bit overzealous this morning at all the great deals." HAHAHA as if I was returning someone else's mistake or lack of discipline. Well, maybe that could be partly true, since I was really a different person when I snatched them up.

In the end, this was a great learning experience. I now know that if I'm ever going to try something like this again in the future, I will need to bring a buddy along to keep me focused and in check.

Any volunteers?

Silence.

2006-11-13T21:18:00.000-08:00

Probably one of my top five favorite songs. You may have to wait a bit for the music.

To my God and my wife. Love you.

Silence by blindside

They won't see the fire you have lit inside of me
They look up to the stars and wonder where you might be
They look up without realizing they're standing in the palm of your hand
I can't explain or understand
I just love you

It's common knowledge that you've been dead for a while
It's well known that the cross is only a burden with pains and trials
But then again how come my shoes are so light
How come I can walk for miles
And still just love you

So I think I'll stay
Caught up in a silent prayer
'Cause I believe in silence
Our hearts speak the same word
So why don't we just walk along
The shoreline with our silent song
'Cause I believe in silence
Our hearts speak the same word, the same word

We have to prove that our love is real over and over again
But let them think what they want 'cause I know it will never end
Because I know when it began
And my heart still beats twice as fast whenever you walk by
'Cause I still love you

So I think I'll stay
Caught up in a silent prayer
'Cause I believe in silence
Our hearts speak the same word
So why don't we just walk along
The shoreline with our silent song
'Cause I believe in silence
Our hearts speak the same word, the same word
The same word, the same word, the same word

So I think I will stay
Caught up in a silent prayer
'Cause I believe in silence
Our hearts speak the same word
So why don't we just walk along
The shoreline with our silent song
'Cause I believe in silence
'Cause I believe in silence
'Cause I believe in silence
Our hearts speak the same word, the same word

Connecting the Dots.

2006-11-03T07:59:00.000-08:00

My last two posts may have seemed like random fyi's, but there was a purpose in me posting them.

First, let me say that I did not come up with those on my own. They are copy/paste from the Internet.

So, what are the dots, and what's the connection? Well, for me it is this.

1. Water
2. Sleep
3. Food

1. Water, more of it
2. Sleep, in bed by 10:00pm
3. Food, none after 8:00pm

Why? Well, I'm not on a huge push to drop a bunch of weight or anything like that. I picked these three things because they require absolutely no investment whatsoever. I don't have to buy a membership to a gym, I don't have to try to squeeze another hour in to my day. But, they contribute hugely to one's health, as can be seen by the facts that were posted. Seems like a no brainer.

Now some of you may be asking, "But I didn't read anything about the 'no food after 8:00pm' thing" You are correct, and there is a reason for that. The reason I didn't post anything about it is because as far as I can tell, it's a myth. From what I found on the Internet, there is really nothing overwhelmingly good or bad about eating late. Yes, I found info that suggests that sugars in your system inhibit the process of such and such and that can contribute to poor quality of sleep and whatnot. But I didn't find anything that was as concrete as the other two things.

Drinking water all day has been easy at work, but getting to bed by 10:00 has been the hardest thing. I think the closest I've come is 10:04 one time. Eating after 8:00pm...I've cheated a bit on that as well. But overall, this hopefully becomes a longterm overall change.

Who knows.

Sleep

2006-11-01T06:37:00.000-08:00

Interesting facts about Sleep

During a normal night's sleep, there are five different stages of sleep – and each of them is quite different from the other four.

When we are sleeping deeply, our breathing, our heart rate and blood pressure reach their lowest levels of the day.
While we are dreaming, we experience REM – rapid eye movement. This is a very active time for both the body and the brain.
While we are dreaming, our brain patterns are similar to those we experience while being awake.
Most adults need about eight hours of sleep to function at their best, but studies have shown that most adults don't get much more than seven.
We sleep more lightly during the second half of the night than during the first.
Cats sleep up to 18 hours a day, giraffes usually not more than 20 minutes.
Your body is on a 24-hour body clock, which makes you wind down between 1 a.m. and 6 a.m. and again in the three hours directly after lunch. We are really made to have siestas.
It is more difficult to wake a child than an adult from deep sleep – often children will be disorientated and have no recollection of this later.
Many people who suffer from insomnia suffer from anxiety and depression.
Our large body muscles are paralysed while we sleep – most probably to stop us from doing what we are dreaming about.
We go through four to six sleep cycles during a good night's sleep, moving through the different stages and back again.
The average person wakes up about six times per night.
Your body temperature falls in the early morning hours, reaches a low at about 4 a.m. and then rises again just before sunrise.
Researchers have never been able to agree exactly why the body needs sleep, except that it is restoring to our bodies and our brains.
Even when we are sleeping very deeply, there is still a part of us that picks up sounds and signals from the world around us. That's why parents wake up when the baby cries, but they don't hear the howling southeaster.
Women and older people most often suffer from insomnia.

H2O

2006-10-31T07:05:00.000-08:00

Unusual Water Facts

1. 75% of people are chronically dehydrated

2. In 37% of Americans the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger

3. Even mild dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 3%

4. Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue

5. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back pain for up to 80% of sufferers

6. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short term memory, trouble with basic math and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or a printed page

7. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79% and reduce the risk of bladder cancer by 50%

8. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs

9. The normal adults body weight is between 50-60% water

10. Water contributes 65-70% of the weight of muscle and makes up 25% of the weight of fat

11. Water carries nutrients to body cells and removes waste

12. It lubricates the joints and also lubricates food in the mouth and digestive tract

13. It helps break down carbohydrates fat and protein

14. It controls body temperature through sweat

15. It maintains the shape of cells and tissues

Seem like I always post generic posts.

2006-10-30T09:22:00.000-08:00

I don't let you guys inside my head.

I always post things that are neutral and "safe". Interesting, maybe, but safe and impersonal none-the-less.

Maybe that will change one day. Maybe I will open the noggin just a sliver and let a tender morsle of me spill out onto the cold, coarse plate that is my blog.

There, it can be criticized or complemented. It can be judged or accepted.

But in the words of the great King Aragorn, "A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day."

Sorry to dissappoint. hehe

Snow

2006-10-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

Isn't snow awesome?

Here are some cool snowflakes. Amazing isn't it? You'd almost think someone made them...how symmetrical they are.

This picture is even more amazing. It is rime frost on both ends of a "capped column" snowflake. It was taken by an electron microscope.

You can see these images and more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snow

hmmm...

2006-10-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

I copied and pasted this from a post I read on a forum. Some of them I get, others I don't have the knowledge to understand the connection.

Interesting non-the-less!

Is it our invention or His creation?

Camera (lens, focus, iris, film) / Eye (cornea curves to focus, iris, retina)
Microphone / Ear drum / Amphitheatre shape / Outer ear shape
Pump / Heart / Valves Heart valves
Plumbing and hydraulic systems / Circulatory system
Communication / telephone cables / Spinal cord / nervous system
Ball joint / Shoulder joint
Windshield wiper / Eye lid
Wiper fluid / Tears
Knife / Incisor teeth
Mortar and pestle / Molar teeth
Woodwinds / Voice box
Computer / Electronic circuitry / Brain
Computer program / DNA
Bubble level / Inner ear tubes for balance
Construction crane (jointed arm, scoop) / Arm and hand
Honeycomb reinforcements / Bee's honeycomb
Solar panel (energy from light) / Leaf
Fish hook (reverse barb design) / Bee stinger
Light stick (light from chemical reactions) / Firefly
Airplanes (airfoil wings, hollow struts, tail) / Birds (airfoil wings, hollow bones, tail)
Submarine ballast / Fish (ballast bladder)
Sonar / Bats, dolphins
Paper from wood pulp / Wasp hives
Velcro / Thistle burrs (actually inspired Velcro)
Blu-blocker sunglasses / Orange oil in eagle eyes to improve acuity
Suction cups / Octopus
Inboard propulsion (boats) / Squid
Batteries (electricity from chemicals) / Eel
Navigation by stars / magnetic fields / Bird and butterfly migration
Music / Song birds
Anesthetics / Venoms and poisons
Swim fins, paddles / Webbed feet (frogs, ducks)
Water cooled systems / Sweat glands and perspiration
Core aeration for health of lawns / Worms, insects and moles

Hypodermic syringe / Snake fangs, also mechanism used by viruses to inject into cells
Antibiotic medicines / Immune system
Hydraulic shock absorbers / Knee joints
Dust filter / Nostril hairs
VCR, magnetic storage media / Memory, recording/viewing images
Gyroscope, top / Planetary rotation
Magnets / Lodestone
Internet / Brain, also Society
Mirror / Reflection on water
Wheel / Animals that curl and roll (armadillo)
Plastics (of many varieties and qualities) / Carbon-based life forms
(of bone, cartilage, tissues, transparent lenses, wood, feathers, etc., and all bio-degradable!)

Gasoline (expensive, dirty) / Methane (free, clean)
Barb wire fences / Briar bushes, thorns
Bridge supports and weight distribution / Elephant / Dinosaur skeletal framework
Robots / Humans
Nuclear energy or bomb (fusion) / Lamp / Sun
Electric and propulsion motors / Mechanical components of flagellum of bacteria & protozoan

Theme Parks / Nature / State Parks
Helicopter / Bumblebee / Hummingbird / Maple seed pods
Camouflage clothing / Camouflage skin and fur, chameleons
Armor / Exoskeletons
Movies, cast, film crew, director / Life, people, angels, subconscious
Night lights / street lights / The stars and the moon
Baby formula / Breast milk
Water filtration techniques / Same filtering techniques as found in nature and swamps and rivers - charcoal, silt

Fishing / Angler fish
Sponge (synthetic) / Sponge
Satellite / Moon
Cloning experiments / Reproductive systems, asexual reproduction
Pulleys, fulcrums, and levers / Foot joints and ligaments
Smoke detectors / Noses
Cup / Cupped hands
Greenhouse / Earth
Clock / Solar system
Fishing net / Spider's web
Magnifying glass / Droplet of water
Water filter / Kidneys
Irrigation canals / Roots in plants
Fires set to aid heath in agriculture / Naturally occurring forest fires
Protective environmental suit / Egg shell
Key and lock / Enzyme and related substrate
Suspension bridge / Spider web
Shock absorbing helmet / Woodpecker skull
Fix-a-flat for punctures in tires / Coagulants found in the blood
Smoke screen as a defense / Octopus ink
Fuel & air for mechanical engines / Food & air for biological engines
Chemical warfare / The Bombardier Beetle
Snowshoes / Penguin's feet
Frames of Buildings / Skeleton of living organisms
Weaving in a basket / Weaving in a bird's nest
Medicine / Herbs
Religions with rules about God / A relationship of love with God
Evolution of civilization and technology / Evolution of the universe and life
Water dams / Beaver dams
Dreams / Movies
Circular appearance of sun and moon / Wheel
Pliers, tongs / Lobster/crab claws
Fur coats / Fur coats
Hang gliders / Butterflies
Vitamin pills / Fruits and vegetables
Interlocking teeth of a zipper / Linkages between barbs in feathers
Radiator, heat exchange system / Elephant's ears, blood vessels in a whale's tail

Christmas

2006-10-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

It's coming...

Karma

2006-10-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon
You come and go
You come and go
Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream
Red, gold and green
Red, gold and green

Those catchy lyrics which I used to so blindly reproduce as:

Comma comma comma comma comma chameleon
You come and go
You come and go
Love it would be easy if you love it all like my dream
Red golden gree
Red golden gree

So what exactly is Karma, and why do so many people believe in it? The over-simplified answer is that it's a way for people to explain why things happen in their lives, good and bad, without having to necessarily a)take responsibility or b) acknowledge God.

Clear as mud?

What I've found out though, is that in reality, Karma is very destructive.

People who are born into societies that place huge emphasis on Karma (ie, India), end up totally oppressing a caste of people or accepting that their miserable conditions in life are punishment for inappropriately tripping some royal figure-head while incarnated as a rock in a former life.

Those who end up at the bottom of the barrel really have no hope. No hope in this life, and worse yet, no hope in the life to come. At least from their perspective. The reality we know as Christians is that there really is hope.

If you want to know what Jesus thought of Karma, just read John 9:1-something. It wasn't a new concept in His time here on Earth.

Jesus came so that we may have life, and have it to the full. Here on earth and in the life after.

5 years ago...I remember

2006-09-11T09:49:00.000-07:00

I remember waking up. I had decided to sleep in since my son, our fourth child, was born 12:30 am, Sept. 11, 2001. I got home around 2:30 am and couldn't sleep. The adrenaline from watching a baby be born was still in my vains. Finally I dozed off.

Up the next morning, I don't know what time. Time at that point wasn't important for me. I had the day off from work, I was going straight to the hospital to see my wife and new son. The rest of my kids were with their grandma and grandpa.

As I drive to the hospital, I casually flip the radio on to break the silence. What is this? Where's the music? Is this a joke?

I couldn't figure out what was going on, all I could think of was when they did a War of the Worlds radio presentation way back when...and everybody thought it was real. Certainly this could not be real. The things they were saying...unbelievable.

I got to the hospital and as I made my way back to the birthing center, I could tell something was wrong. Every waiting room I walked by had groups of people huddled around the television. Finally, I decided to stop and see what they were looking at. Unbelievable.

I stood and watched replays of a jet flying into a building. As the details came out through the broadcast, I didn't know what to think. No one was really talking, just watching. And then I remembered why I was even at the hospital...a new baby.

I finally arrived a the door to my wife's room and as I opened it, I wondered if she knew what was going on. As I came around the corner, I figured she didn't. There she was, sitting up in bed. The curtains were drawn and the sun was shining down on her and Caedmon, my new son. I tell you, it was angelic. I walked over to her and shut the outside world out, and focused on the little bundle of wrinkles and grunts. He had no idea the world he was born into.

He's starting to learn now at the age of 5.

I got up this morning and celebrated a son's 5th birthday. But in the back of my mind, I was replaying that day 5 years ago.

So how about you? Post your "I remember" and tell us what you were doing that morning.

He's gone...

2006-07-31T09:25:00.000-07:00

A moment of silenok that was good enough.

Banjo now joins his other Cadbury making brethren in the great rabbit paradise in the sky.

In his memory, I have crafted the following tribute.

To be sung to the immortal Barry Manilow's Mandy

Banjo

I remember all your life
You ran away and caused me strife
You'd scurry over here
You'd scurry over there
Running through the yard
Until I would catch you

And put you back into your cage
Trying to avoid my rage
Looking all around
I see a ton of poop.
I never realized
you made me so angry, oh Banjo

Well you came and you took without giving,
but I caught you again, oh Banjo
well you pooped and you peed for a living
But now you are dead, oh Banjo.

I'm trying hard to cope with this.
The poop and pee I will not miss.
Such a tradgic end
You deserved a better life
I would have killed you myself
If it wasn't for my wife, oh Banjo

Well you came and you took without giving,
but I caught you again, oh Banjo
well you pooped and you peed for a living
But now you are dead, oh Banjo.

I need a holiday...

2006-07-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

I feel thin...like butter spread over too much toast.

Next week I and the rest of my tribe are outta here. Up to the Great North there hey.

Things I plan on doing:

Fishing
Swimming (including snorkeling)
Sleeping
Golfing

I was tempted to continue on with a larger list, but I don't want to confuse my plans to keep it simple. Oh, one more thing that I can add to the list, but it's more of an overall mandate rather than a specific activity: Make sure Heth has fun. That's my goal in life anyway. I know if you spent a weekend with me like my sister recently did, you would say I am a miserable failure at this. But from the way I look at it, I need to show continuous improvement in this area. If I excel at this too early in life, how am I going to show continuous improvement?

I kid.

More to come on this later.

So that I only miss may.

2006-06-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

Riddle:

You're rolling down a hill in a canoe and all four wheels fall off.
How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

Answer:
None, because they don't put bones in ice cream.

See how that works?

Now don't go tagging me...

2006-04-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

Just cause I'm doing this one meme.

6 weird things in no particular order:

1. I pretty much sing non stop. The only time I'm not singing is when I'm around people outside of family members. In reality, it's not non stop, and in reality, it's not always singing...sometimes it's more just making noise. My favorite is to harmonize to hair clippers or electric shavers.

2. I post regularly on a time travel forum. And just so you know, Uncle Rico and Napolean were doing it wrong.

3. My wife swears that I have Restless Leg Syndrome. hahahahahaah

4. When I was in highschool, my best friend and I developed a whole series of rules. They consisted of Universal Laws, Cardinal Laws, Moral Issues, and Potion Issues. I guess the best way to explain it is...you kinda had to be there.

5. I have many "Old Faithfuls". These are articles of clothing or other items that have been with me for years that I just can't get rid of. I don't know if it's sentimentality or what.

6. When I eat cereal, I sneak a quick breath before each bite. And then I usually rake my teeth along the metal spoon. I never noticed I did this until I got married.

Another 2 weeks

2006-04-19T12:23:00.000-07:00

Let's keep this ball rolling.
Wait a minute, is there even a ball?

I should change the name of my blog to The Prodigal Blog. Really, I can't figure out if it's because I'm busy, tired, lazy, or a combination of multiple factors...but I have been a horrible blogger the last few months.

I apologize.
I apologize to who? Everyone quit checking on this stupid thing 4 weeks ago.
Only Heth, who reads 18,000 words per minute is gonna pick up this new post.

I was thinking of doing another parody, but the site where I got my midi files from shutdown, and I've been too lazy to find another one.

Oh well.

In the words of Nirvana:

And I forget
Just what it takes
And yet I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard
Its hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind

2 weeks...and what have I got to show for it?

2006-03-30T14:07:00.000-08:00

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

NUH-THEEN!

NADA.

Well, I guess I could come up with something. So here is a lame list of things you don't want to do when you are on a business trip.

In no particular order:

1. Report to your wife what and where you have eaten.
2. Report to your wife how nice the hotel is that you are staying.
3. Complain to your wife about having to eat steak again.
4. Email pictures of your nice king-sized memory foam mattress hotel bed complete with 7 plush pillows.
5. Complain to your wife about how lonely it is on a business trip while you hear children screaming at each other in the background.

I am learning that business trips are to be kept a private matter amongst spouses. Unless she asks, I won't volunteer any information about the 16oz. medium-well sirloin I had to eat with a side of steamed vegetables, garlic mashed potatoes, ceasar salad to kick it off or anything like that.

Spork.

2006-03-15T06:18:00.000-08:00

Yes people...I really am this boring.

Linky Linky! Rise and shining!

Seriously though...I always thought it was a KFC thing.

Scary

2006-02-27T08:38:00.000-08:00

This weekend I heard a very informative speech on the

Goblin Shark!!!!

In the words of the speech giver, "That thing is ridiculous." I must agree. Complete with snout and protrusible jaw, Tenguzame, as it's known in Japan, is certainly a work of underwater art...you know, the kind that I would do.

Thank you Gabe for adding to my library of useless knowledge.

And the winner is...

2006-02-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

T!

Today the State return showed up in my account. So, that's not too bad. I only missed it by 2 days, and considering that I didn't have my W-2 in hand by Jan. 31st, I can see room for improvement next year.

I'm not gonna post up the prize just yet. Gonna let ole' Blog of Thunder play out for a bit.

It made it!!!!!

2006-02-08T08:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I have finally reached my goal of having my tax return in the bank account by Feb. 8. As the screenshots below show, the proof is in the pudding.

I was sweating it a bit that today would come and go and I would have to wait another whole year.

Before:

After:

If you believe this then shame on you.

Death and Taxes

2006-02-03T06:28:00.000-08:00

Today, I talk about the latter.

My goal for the past I-don't-know-how-many years has been to have my taxes done and return in the bank by Feb. 8th. So far, I have not acheived this goal. The closest I've gotten was Feb. 10th.

The main reason for missing the goal is the fact that the home office of my employer is in another state. This means that even though they send my W-2 out within the legally required time-frame, it still takes a couple of days to get to me.

This year will be different...I hope. I got my W-2 yesterday, and had the Federal and State returns finished and filed last night.

How can I do this you say? Turbo Tax Deluxe. I love that thing.

My father-in-law got me hooked on this product by Intuit. I think the first year I used it was back in '98. The first year you use it, you pretty much have to answer a ton of questions about all your financial activities. It can seem laborious, but even that first "interview" is easier than filling out the paper forms and schedules. However, the real benefit comes each successive year you use it. It sees the prior year's return, imports all of that data, and allows you to make changes to it.

Another nice thing about it is the easiness in e-filing and direct deposit. Any processing fees that are generated from these activities can be taken out of your return or paid for with a credit card.

So, let the countdown begin. Will this be the year? Anyone want to put an e-wager?

Blog of Thunder

2006-01-30T22:32:00.000-08:00

You say that it makes you wonder
Why the music on my blog isn't put asunder.
Because it's my life's purpose...to annoy you.
You've visited my blog of thunder!

You've come to the blog of thunder.
Where jokes are lame and you wonder.
Could there be something else under.
No, you better leave, you better go Google.

I got a response the other day.
It was a friend who had too much to say.
I said are you trying to get me
to remove the music that is so catchy.

And they said:

I came to your blog of thunder.
It makes all my coworkers wonder.
I left my speakers on, another blunder.
When oh when will you put that song under.

So my friends I will leave you with this.
My poor blog you are not to dis.
Or else you will have a large number
of new songs on my blog of thunder!

And I say:

You've come to the blog of thunder.
Where jokes are lame and you wonder.
Could there be something else under.
No, you better leave, you better go Google.

Say ahhhhh.

You came to my blog of thunder.
Where I can post all songs under.
If you come here and you wonder
I'll never quit, I'll never go asunder.

Say ahhhhh.

Meme

2006-01-23T06:52:00.000-08:00

Four jobs you had in your life.
1. Paper Delivery Boy
2. Hay bailer
3. Detassler
4. Pizza Delivery Person

Four movies you could watch over and over.
1. Red Dawn
2. Empire Strikes Back
3. Sense and Sensibility
4. Emma

Four places you've lived.
1. 1103 9th St.
2. 408A McVey
3. 3810 Berkley Dr. #5
4. N. 43rd St. Apt. I76

Four TV shows you love to watch.
1. 24
2. gameshows that aren't stupid
3. shows about science type things
4. cooking shows

Four places you've been on vacation.
1. Cass Lake, MN
2. Mt. Rushmore, Black Hills, Devil's Tower, Wall Drug
3. Disney World
4. Oshkosh, WI

Four websites you visit daily.
1. www.iwon.com
2. www.automags.org
3. www.ebay.com
4. www.google.com

Four of your favorite foods
1. popcorn
2. chicken fingers
3. Pablo's burritos
4. Friday special at Maid-Rite (hot beef sandwich, mashed potatoes, gravy)

Four places you'd rather be right now
1. home
2. on a beach
3. on a lake in the summer
4. anywhere with my family

I tag no one.

Because stupid should hurt...

2006-01-18T12:59:00.000-08:00

You can read the whole story here.
View the video here.

Here, we have an over-zealous inebriated Browns fan in all his glory. This gentleman, Nathan Mallett, was apparently upset that his favorite team was losing big time, so he decided to run out onto the field.

What was he thinking he would do once he got out there?

I can tell you what he wasn't thinking was going to happen....BODYSLAM!

Yes, our unsuspecting fan got a good ole' fashioned butt kicking by Steelers' linebacker James Harrison.

Anyways, Nathan received his sentencing today for his misdemeanor charges blah blah blah. He will be put in jail during the Superbowl and not allowed to watch it on t.v. Furthermore, he will not be allowed to attend a Brown's game for 5 years!

Just goes to show that stupid should hurt.

NTG

2006-01-09T06:47:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid in grade school, we would take trips to the library. I never liked to read, and even to this day I find it difficult to stay on task when reading a book.

However, if a book captivates me, I usually can get through it.

For the most part, I didn't care about the trips to the library. I liked them because we weren't in school, and we would get a Tootsie Roll Pop. *Did you get a star? No? I got a star! I win!*

One of the years, maybe 2nd or 3rd grade, the librarian introduced a book to the class. It was called Nate the Great. When the librarian announced the title, everyone looked over at me and started to get all giddy. "Nate the Great. Hey, his name is Nate. He's Nate the Great." I must admit, it was a huge self esteem booster. But I didn't let it go to my head...well actually I did. But not in the way you would think.

At that moment I was proud that my name was Nate, but I wasn't cocky about it. It just made me feel good. Special.

As time went on, kids started to call me Nate the Great. Not all the kids and not all the time. (There was this one girl...Darla...she and I hated each other...she called me Nincompoop Nate...grrrr).

Fast forward.

I'm now in 4th grade and my family is up in Minnesota at Cass Lake for vacation. One rainy day, we decide to take a break from fishing and lake activities and go to Bemidji. We went to a mall where I got a new fishing pole and then we stopped into a shop that sells t-shirts, hats, etc. with any custom wording on them that you want. (Like "Vote for Pedro") I tell my parents I want a hat and they oblige.

"What do you want the hat to say?", they asked.

"NTG.", I replied.

"NTG? What's NTG? Your initials are NJB."

"Nate the Great.", I said matter-of-factly.

They all laughed. My parents, the people working at the store...they laughed. But I was unphased. I remember my dad saying something about me not having a modesty problem. At the time I had no idea what that even meant.

But I got the hat.

That hat was one of the most favorite, most lasting items I have ever owned. And I still have it.

That hat and I have been through a lot together. It fell off into a flooded dry run and started floating away when I was in 5th grade...I jumped in and got it. It served as an archery target when we had nothing to shoot at...no it wasn't still on my head.

I loved that hat. And when I look at it, I'm reminded of the days when I was NTG. In fact, I was called that so regularly, that one of my friend's parents gave me a new shiny NTG hat at my graduation.

Here is the old faithful. It doesn't stand up anymore. The three holes in it are from arrows that hit their mark.

*sigh*

Tortelitha

2006-01-06T06:14:00.000-08:00

(to the tune of The Final Countdown)

Tor-te-lee-tha
Tor-te-lee-hee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-ee-ee-tha

Tor-te-lee-tha
Tor-te-lee-hee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-ee-ee-tha
Tor-te-lee
Tor-te-lee-ee-ee-ee-thaaaa
Aaaah-aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Her name's Tortelitha, litha.
What-ever that means.
She writes a great blogspot, blogspot.
She wears light-blue jeans.

She is an early riser.
She never sleeps, never sleeps.
She just mi-ight be-ee-ee a robot!
She's the Tortelitha!

Tor-te-lee-tha
Tor-te-lee-hee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-ee-ee-tha

Tor-te-lee-tha
Tor-te-lee-hee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-ee-ee-tha
Tor-te-lee
Tor-te-lee-ee-ee-ee-thaaaa
Aaaah-aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

She's Dull as Dishwater, water.
Or so-oh she says.
She has lots of daughters, daughters.
And so-oh she prays.

She is a super mommy.
But so much more, so much more.
She has a husband Tommyboy...
She's the Tortelitha.

Tor-te-lee-tha
Tor-te-lee-hee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-ee-ee-tha

Tor-te-lee-tha
Tor-te-lee-hee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-tha
Tor-te-lee-ee-ee-ee-tha
Tor-te-lee
Tor-te-lee-ee-ee-ee-thaaaa
Aaaah-aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

**********************************
Well T...there's your prize. Sorry if it's lame, but I had to keep my word.

Huh? Wha?

2006-01-04T06:40:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah....my blog. I almost forgot.

So, everyone has been blogging about how their lives are back to "normal" (whatever that means), and I figured I better get my 2 cents in too. Otherwise, Laundry Lady will drop me from her links list. Or maybe I'm an honorary listing since I'm her husband? And I know her password...teehee.

So, life for me is back to "normal." I'm fortunate enough to work for a company that shuts down between Christmas and the New Year. So, it's sort of like being in school. Only not. But I digress.

The week off was a fun one. If you know me, then you probably have already read Laundrypile and know that we did a lot of late nights, nothing, sleeping all over the house, etc. I did get in a quick snowboarding trip to a local ski resort. That was fun. Except for one bone jarring face plant, I'd say it was a nice outing. I hope to get out more this year with my new board.

Work is back in full swing. Last year I started into a new area with a different job title (someday I'll have to blog about job titles and how ridiculous they can be), and I'm really liking it. This year looks to be a busy one, but that is good. Job security and whatnot. Perhaps another trip to Denver, CO will happen later this month. If so, the Project Manager and I will try to get in some time at this place. That would rulio. But I digress...again.

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." <--Name the movie and win a prize. Seriously.

Let's see...

di·gress ( P ) Pronunciation Key (d-grs, d-)intr.v. di·gressed, di·gress·ing, di·gress·es
To turn aside, especially from the main subject in writing or speaking; stray. See Synonyms at swerve.

No, I was using it correctly...I think.

Anyway, I am already thinking about this upcoming year...where we will take a family vacation, what I will be doing in work and ministry, whether I am going to start running again. The door is wide open and the possibilities are endless.

For the first few days of 2006, I was lamenting the passing of 2005. I'm one that always looks back on the past with rose colored glasses. Things always seemed to be better than they probably were. Heth has called me on that a lot. I'll be remembering something and I'll be thinking it was all really awesome, and she'll bring me back to reality and proceed to remind me of how things really were.

But I'm past my sorrow for losing 2005. It's gone. Goodbye dear 2005.

HELLOOOOOOO 2006!!!!!!! Woot Woot!

Fortune Cookie

2005-12-21T09:31:00.000-08:00

Recently, I ate at a Panda Express for dinner. The food was good and I ended the meal with the traditional fortune cookie. What I read on the fortune cracked me up.

My fortune cookie read, and I quote:

Every person is the architect of his own future.
Lucky Numbers: 32 14 44 2 38 7

Excuse me? You've got to be kidding me right? I'm the architect of my own future????? Then what in world do I need "Lucky Numbers" for?????? LOLBBQ!

I thought it was so funny, I took a picture of it. (Sorry for the poor quality)

I guess the Chinese ancients were lottery players?

Snow Forts

2005-12-15T08:07:00.000-08:00

When you're a kid, you can dream up the most incredible plans for a snow fort. The reality, though, is that you very rarely can execute the plan. Yes, you can tunnel and build. And in the end, you can be proud of the result. But I have to tell you something: there is nothing like being a full grown adult and building a snow fort!

And that's just what Tyler and I did last night.

Before I get too deep in to the details of last night, I must provide some background into why I take my snow forting so seriously.

It all started the moment I saw Empire Strikes Back. The opening of that movie has our heroes on the artic planet of Hoth. The Rebel forces have devised an intricate labyrinth of ice and snow. Outside are a series of snow trenches that provide cover for the dug in Rebel forces. It was the snow fort par excellence.

Fast forward to 1993. I am a senior in highschool. A buddy and I are bored and driving around town. I see a large pile of snow in a parking lot and suggest we go make a fort. We climbed up to the top of the pile and started digging away with our gloved hands. No good. We're seniors, we can do better than this. So off to our garages to get some tools.

Back at the site, we continue digging straight down through this pile of snow. Eventually, it gets too deep to throw the snow out of the hole, so one of us stands halfway in the hole while the other one digs at the bottom and hands shovels of snow up. We finally bottom out, the completed shaft is somewhere between 10-12 feet deep.

Now we start to hollow out the pile and create a "room" We decided to leave a pillar of snow in the middle as a support, but in the end, we had a nice room that you could walk around the pillar. We even carved out little nooks in the side walls and put votive candles in them. (We didn't even know that that's what they were called)

Other guys showed up to see what we were doing and we planned to sleep in the fort that night. We had 5 guys down in there all able to stand and talk around the pillar.

But our plans were dashed. Because we hadn't been careful when we started digging the main shaft, we had tossed large chunks of snow out onto the sidewalk and parking lot. That drew the attention of some people and in the end, law enforcement shut us down. The officer requested that we destroy our fort, and for good reason: there was an elementary school nearby and if one of those kids found the fort, they may not be able to get out. And if the thing caved....lights out.

So, we destroyed our fort.

*moment of silence*

*wipes minute tear and clears throat*

Anyway, fast forward to last night. I want to make a snow fort and Tyler can come along for the ride. I survey the landscape, no large piles to work with in our front yard. This will have to be a classic snow brick construction. Out with the rubbermaid tub. I get to work with Tyler right there beside me. Eventually we have a good base for the wall that will face our adversary. Some of the neighbor kids show up and see what we're doing, and they join in.

When all was finished, we had a nice fortification. I'll have to get some pictures and post them later...as well as the battle stories that are sure to come.

Today.

2005-12-12T10:38:00.000-08:00

Today, I decided to post another invisible text message. I don't know, call me desperate for content. I think it's kind of fun.

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I love to think about life, where I've been, where I am, and where I could possibly be going. Where I've been is easy to see, and I am amazed at the grace that has been granted me. God knows I am undeserving, and yet, here I am.

Where I am is sometimes clouded by the blur of life. Keeping up with work, keeping up with studies, spending family time, working on ministry, annoying my wife. It all blends into a jinormous pot that is the stew of life. But yet, when I stop to think, I can't help but feel enormously blessed. I strive to be where God wants me to be.

Finally, where I am going. Who knows? God does. I can pretty much envision anything for my future. More kids. A different job. Death. Life. Old age. Success. Failure. I can dream of it all. It doesn't scare me. But yet, there is a seriousness to the future. Others' lives depend on the future.

I guess all of this doesn't make too much sense, so I'll close with a final thought. I thank God that I am not the same now as I was in the past. And I pray that who I am now, prepares me for what I will do in the future.

A funny convo...

2005-12-08T08:10:00.000-08:00

Last night, I took Caedmon to church. It was just he and I. What follows is the exact conversation we had.

*while backing out of the garage*

Caedmon: Oh, look dad, the moon!

Me: Yep, pretty neat.

Caedmon: Are there aliens on the moon?

Me: Nope, there aren't any aliens on the moon. But you know what? A while ago, there were some people who took a spaceship and landed on the moon.

Caedmon: Why'd they do that, dad? To see the aliens?

Me: No, they landed their spaceship on the moon, got out, and drove around and collected rocks.

Caedmon: But they didn't see the aliens.

Me: No, aliens aren't real.

Caedmon: Aliens aren't real? How do you know.

Me: Well, have you ever seen an alien?

Caedmon: No.

Me: Well, there you go. Aliens aren't real.

*some time passes, Caedmon thinks*

Caedmon: Dad?

Me: Yes?

Caedmon: Are Pop Tarts real?

Me: *supressing a laugh* Well, have you ever seen a Pop Tart?

Caedmon: Yes.

Me: Well there you go. Pop Tarts are real.

Caedmon: Cool. So aliens aren't real but Pop Tarts are real.

*pulling up to the church*

Me: Yep. Aliens aren't real, Pop Tarts are real. Do you remember your verse?

Caedmon: "She gave birth to a son."

Me: Good job. See you later.

Apparently, there is a Pop Tart commercial with aliens and the moon? So, I guess in light of that, the conversation makes perfect sense. To my benefit, I just didn't know that at the time.

It's OVER!!!!!

2005-12-02T09:13:00.000-08:00

The saga is over. The process is finished. Acabado. Beendet. Rifinito. 終えられる.
[thank goodness for Google translator]

The xB is now my xB. Titled, registered, and plated. I feel so relieved. It took just over two months to get the title and everything in order.

Tis the season to be...

2005-12-01T09:18:00.000-08:00

jol·ly ( P ) Pronunciation Key (jl)
adj. jol·li·er, jol·li·est
1. Full of good humor and high spirits.
2. Exhibiting or occasioning happiness or mirth; cheerful: a jolly tune.
3. Greatly pleasing; enjoyable: had a jolly time.

-------------------------------------------------------
So, what am I going to do this year to be jolly? To show my jolliness? To be Jolly-man Supreme?

I DON'T KNOW QUIT READING MY BLOG AND SHEESH ALREADY IN THE WORLD!!!!1

Just kidding. That was anti-jolly. I think I needed to expunge all anti-jolliness so that I can be filled up to the brim with jolly.

The reason for this post? I don't know...for some reason I thought the word jolly was funny. So it could be said that jolly is a jolly word.

Teh end.

Mayflower Compact

2005-11-21T09:12:00.000-08:00

Reminder of the truth about this great land we call America.

"In the name of God, Amen. We, whose names are underwritten, the Loyal Subjects of our dread Sovereign Lord, King James, by the Grace of God, of England, France and Ireland, King, Defender of the Faith, e&.Having undertaken for the Glory of God, and Advancement of the Christian Faith, and the Honour of our King and Country, a voyage to plant the first colony in the northern parts of Virginia; do by these presents, solemnly and mutually in the Presence of God and one of another, covenant and combine ourselves together into a civil Body Politick, for our better Ordering and Preservation, and Furtherance of the Ends aforesaid; And by Virtue hereof to enact, constitute, and frame, such just and equal Laws, Ordinances, Acts, Constitutions and Offices, from time to time, as shall be thought most meet and convenient for the General good of the Colony; unto which we promise all due submission and obedience.In Witness whereof we have hereunto subscribed our names at Cape Cod the eleventh of November, in the Reign of our Sovereign Lord, King James of England, France and Ireland, the eighteenth, and of Scotland the fifty-fourth. Anno Domini, 1620."

A national hero...

2005-11-17T09:01:00.000-08:00

What the.

Part of me wanted to leave it at that and let the discussion ensue in the replies to this post, but I just can't.

I mean, what in the world?????? A radish? Intensive care? The will to live?

Too funny.

And now for something completely different...

2005-11-16T13:54:00.000-08:00

Borrowing a line from the popular 70's British comedy troupe Monty Python, today we will delve into the unkown. In fact, it's so unknown, that even as I type this sentence, I don't know what the topic will be. However, once it comes to me, I will start a new paragraph and that will be the topic for today. And the winner is...

Invisible Text!!!

I wonder how many people will totally miss this post and reply with a comment about how I left them hanging? There is a trick to reading this post, and if you can read this, you probably have found out what the trick is.

Basically, I have just made the text the same colour as the background. No big deal. Although it's kind of fun to use this technique to post little secret messages to someone. *gasp* Have I done this before??? Don't bother going back to find anything, I've never done this on Blogspot.

Anyway, a toast to you for finding the hidden message. Pat yourself on the back.

Cheers!

So there you have it. Did you find that interesting? Some may consider that a cool trick, but others are most likely not impressed. And others, still, are probably wondering what in the world I'm even talking about.

It's Here!!!!!

2005-11-15T08:36:00.000-08:00

That's right! The day has finally come when I can drive my new (to me) car! Granted, it is still untitled, but at least it is legal to drive in that it has a legal registration. Not a registration in my home state, but a valid legal registration for the vehicle...and that's what matters.

However, here is the fun part. The plates that the previous owner had were personalized. BLKBBOX How fun is that? I'm just glad that it wasn't COOLCHK or SWTHRT or MOM2KDZ It wouldn't matter though...I'd still drive that brick of black transportation.

Untitled [Part Deux]

2005-11-14T10:47:00.000-08:00

(In my best Dr. Suess prose)

Can it be?
Could it be?
A title for my new xB?

I hope it is.
Not a bottle of fizz,
Nor a shamdoogle trizz,
Nor a guhfoomple quizz.

The end of this plot is now within sight,
Though the wind through the jiggywackets can cause quite a fright.
A title for the dear xB is near,
So yes, my dear jiggywackets, no need to fear.

I leave this blog post in the public domain,
Where friends and acquaintances think I'm insane.
But if they were to spend a day in my shoes,
I have not a doubt, their sanity they would lose.

The next xB update shall show me victorious,
In my pursuit of patience, integrity, and a car that is glorious.
But just in case you are wondering and have it on your mind,
The poor, scared jiggywackets will be absolutely fine.

Eleven Eleven...make a wish!

2005-11-11T06:22:00.000-08:00

Did you ever do that? Look at the clock and see that it was 11:11? At some point in my life, I found that it was cool to make a wish when that happened. Someone would notice the time and say "Eleven Eleven, make a wish!"

Now, there are some people who have taken that concept a bit too far.

Today is 11/11/2005. I wonder how many people will look at the clock today and see that it is 11:11 on 11/11? What are they going to do, make a super special wish? I wonder what the folks back in the year 1111 did?

"Morning, chap."

"I do say, it is a most agreeable prospect."

"Good heaven's man, look at the time."

"Oh poppycock!"

"What do you mean poppycock? It's eleven eleven on eleven eleven, eleven eleven AD!"

"But I'm eleven minutes late for my morning crumpets and tea!"

Eleven Eleven on Eleven Eleven, Eleven Eleven AD. Wouldn't that have been crazy? Ever since 1259 AD, there hasn't been a year where the time could match the year...that is unless of course you're using military time and then you've got until 2400.

The Pendulum of Politics

2005-11-09T13:20:00.000-08:00

The following is based on an article found here.

I am no political scientist.

I am no pundit, no analyst, no nothing.

I am just a hypoglycemic-soundtrack-singing-geek with an opinion. In case you are wondering, I wanted a pack of Wonka's Oompas candy from the vending machine today but it got stuck and didn't drop. So I was forced to buy another so they would both drop. And they did. And I ate them. Both. And now I'm all shaky.

Anyways, if you read the article I linked to, you would know that the voters in the Dover school district recently ousted 8 board members replacing them with 8 new members. It just so happens that in this case, Republicans are out, Democrats in.

Now, I had to ask myself a question. "Did the population of Dover really change that much to warrant such an abrupt turn around?" The answer, of course, is no. So then, what happened.

This is what I think happened in Dover, and what I see as a popular trend in politics. These are just my opinions so feel free to blast away with comments.

When a representative group holds power, they take it for granted. And when a controversial topic, Intelligent Design in this case, arises, it seems to be the "underdog" group of people that take it the most seriously. I would love to know what the political make-up of Dover really is.

One can be sure that the policies that were put in place to support Intelligent Design will soon be revoked. And what do you suppose will happen? That's right, if it becomes a hot enough issue, the "underdogs" will rally again and the tide will turn again.

Frankly, I don't care what Dover does or doesn't do. I just thought it was weird the way balance shifted to such opposite poles.

And as far as the topic of Intelligent Design goes...well, that's another blog entry.

My Heart Will Go On.

2005-11-07T06:57:00.000-08:00

Neeeeeeaaaaaaar.

Faaaaaaaar.

Wherrrreeeeeeeeeever you are.

I wonder how many people thought that this was going to be another wierd story from the mind of Iridium. Iridium...hehe what a geek. You can't call yourself your screen name. Oh, but I can....AND I WILLLLLL!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

Hokay. So, the Titanic soundtrack. Totally love it. And you know what I love about it? I know it. No, you don't understand. There aren't any words to it except that one song. Other than that, it's just instrumental and occassionally Enya doing her dwa dwaaaa, dwa dwa dwaaaaaa, dwa dwa dwaaaaaa, dwa dwaaaaaaaaaaa dwaaa. See? Told you I know it.

Anyway, one of the things about me is that I like to sit at my computer with the Titanic Soundtrack (TS to shorten it up and make is sound cool) and do my studies, or surf the net, or what not. Another one of my habits is that I love to sing along with TS. This drives Laundry Lady (LL) crazy. But a funny thing happened not too long ago....

So, I'm sitting there with TS on the headphones doing some INSTE. LL is sitting at her computer blogging or reading blogs or doing whatever. And naturally, I'm singing along.

Dwa Dwaaaa. Dwa Dwa Dwaaaa. Dwa Dwa Dwaaaaaa Dwa Dwaaaaaaaaaa Dwaaa.

LL yells over at me to get my attention "You are SOOO annoying!"

"Huh?"

"You. You are soooo annoying. If you could hear yourself."

"Oh yeah? Let me here you do it."

LL puts on the headphones and tries to sing along.

"HAHAHA! You can't do it!"

"I wouldn't WANT to do it. You're such a dork."

I put the headphones on and start singing. Every once in a while, I would hit the power button to the external speakers so she could hear that I was actually singing the right parts at the right time and just because she couldn't hear the rest of the track doesn't mean I am a dork.

I'm a dork for other reasons.

Indeed.

2005-10-28T06:33:00.000-07:00

It was a typical Iowa fall morning. The air was sharp but fresh. A light haze hugged the ground across the Cedar Valley. Water towers and tall trees stood as ghosts in the distance.

This was a normal morning for me. I was on my way to work with nothing in particular on my mind. The silence, at first, was maddening, but I have grown accustomed to it over the weeks my car radio has been out. I turn left onto the highway.

Moments later, I drive by the construction of the new Wal-Mart Supercenter. Super. Yeah, that’s it, just super. I notice they are really making progress on the super-structure. Lanes are closed and traffic is tight. I should have been paying attention.

I didn’t actually cross the center line, but I got close enough, too close. The dump truck on the other hand, well, he must have been just as impressed with the construction goings-on as I was because he crossed over. Impact. Crushing metal. Broken bones. The hood on my little red Probe crumples like wad of paper tossed out by a frustrated author. The windshield shatters into oblivion. My face is greeted by an industrial sized tire which nearly removes my head. Blackness.

It takes 9 months to enter this world. We leave it in an instant.

The funeral was held on a Monday afternoon. People from everywhere showed up. Old high school friends, friends from college, and the local community. The epitaph read: “Here lies Nate Beam: Father to six, Husband to one, dedicated follower of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

As my wife sits in the front row seat of the sanctuary, her mind races to make sense of what has happened over the last few days. I, on the other hand, have the meeting of a lifetime.

“Hello, Nathan.” These words were not spoken by the figure standing in front of me, but I heard them as audibly as any word spoken to me in life.

“Uhh…Hello….Jesus?”

“Indeed. May I ask you a question?”

“Of course you can…you’re Jesus.”

“Now that all is said and done, now that all is gone and still just begun, what have you done with your time, and why?”

In that instant, I knew. I knew that He wasn’t mad at me. I just knew how sad He was. I knew the truth about my life on earth. And I had no answer that would have seemed even remotely valid, other than the truth.

“You’re right Jesus. I wasted a ton of time. “

“Indeed. Try not to do the same this time.”

“Huh?”

With that, I find myself driving by the construction site for the new Wal-Mart Supercenter. There is no dump truck. There is no crumpled metal. There are no feelings of guilt or sadness. There is only a sense of mission. A mission not to waste my time. Indeed.

Untitled

2005-10-25T15:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the lack of a title gives an element of artistry to a certain work. For example, it's not uncommon to come across a song called "The Untitled Hymn" or an article "Untitled". But when you really look at it, the fact that they are labeled untitled gives them the title Untitled. Good for them.

Cars, on the other hand, can not be untitled. Even though these are sometimes works of art, if you want to drive your car, it needs a title. At least where I come from it does. And so here begins my latest travail. (not sure if that's the right word, but this is my blog so there)

Over 1 month ago, I purchased a vehicle on eBay. No biggie. Been there, done that. I flew out to Norfolk, Virginia and drove the thing back home. It was truly a fun time. I proceeded to drive the new vehicle locally while I waited for the title to come to me so that I could get a legal registration. Title didn't come. And I got pulled over. Well, the officer was understanding. I showed him the bill of sale and he saw that I was within the 15 day grace period and so he didn't give me a ticket....for that....but that's another blog entry.

So, the 15 day grace period comes and goes. I put the new vehicle in the garage and started driving my old car. After a couple of days, I get ansy and decide to call the county courthouse (for the 3rd time) just to see if there was someway, anyway, to get a temporary registration or something that would allow me to drive the new car. No luck. However, in that conversation I was able to find out that the grace period is actually 30 days, not 15. There is hope.

I started driving the new car again, and was really enjoying having a radio to listen to when the 30 day grace period came and went. New car in garage, old car activated. Am I losing hope? Nope.

I am now on day 37, and no title is in sight. Here are the facts of the case as I know them. According to the seller, his lender released the title 32 days ago to the Virginia DMV. My lender has not received it, so it must be somewhere in the Virginia DMV system. That is all I know.

Meanwhile, I have made 1 month's car payment on the new vehicle. I have paid for 1 month's insurance on the new vehicle. And I have driven the vehicle about a total of 15 days (thankfully for me, I have had a fair amount of business travel lately)

So there you have it. Untitled is not a good thing in the world of automobiles.

Why did I write all of this out? Am I complaining? Certainly not! In fact, I hope that this blog entry shows that even when things don't go the way they are supposed to or even the way you want them to, there is no need to let that have a negative impact on your life. It's just a car. I know that it will all get worked out. I won't be paying on a vehicle that I can't drive forever. The title will come and then I will be able to drive it worry-free.

Happiness delayed is not happiness denied.

Yay, today, Friday.

2005-10-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

Yay.
Hey.
Today.
Friday.
No way.
Yes Way.
Today.
Friday.
Ok.
Then pay.
What you say?
Today.
Friday.
No way.
What you say?
I won't pay.
But today.
Friday.
Ok.
Browse eBay.
Go play.
Make hay.
Today.
Friday.
Yay.
Oh by the way.
You say.
You won't pay.
But today.
Friday.
Go play.
I may.
My way.
Today.
Friday.
Eat a filet.
On a tv tray.
Lean back all the way.
Wake up next day.
No longer Friday.
Boo hoo.

How's it goin' dere hey?

2005-10-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

Right now, I am up in Fargo, ND in a class for Microsoft CRM.

Yes, Microsoft has an office up here. A pretty decent one at that. There are about 1000 Microsoft Business Solutions employees located here in Fargo. Anywhere from tech support to developers. It's been a pretty fun 3 days. Reminds me of when I was in college in Grand Forks. There are even some UND grads who work here.

One of the things that I notice besides the weather (actually it isn't that bad right now) is the speech. I kinda miss that aboot this area, hey.

Fargo has changed a lot from the last time I was here. It has been expanding like crazy. And from what I'm told, the population of 20-30 year olds has been exploding. That's kind of interesting, dontcha know.

Really, the only thing you can complain about Fargo is the weather. The people are really nice, the economy is good, crime is pretty low. It's just a really nice area.

I am such a slacker.

2005-10-14T06:20:00.000-07:00

Ho-kay. So. I put up a post asking how many people still come check out the bliggity, making you all think that I'm going to get started posting again, and then WHAMMO! nothing.

I just don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I need counseling. I just don't feel inspired to write about anything in my life. Really there isn't much going on.

Wait....a.....minute......

I know what's wrong!!!!!!!!!!

I know why I never blog anything anymore!!!!!!

Cause my wife blogs everything.

No seriously, I used to go through my day and every once in a while something would come up or I would do something and I would say to myself, "Hey, you just wrote a run-on sentence." Actually, I would say to myself, "Hey, that would make a good blog entry."

Maybe I can make blog entries psycho-analyzing the reasons why someone makes blog entries.

But really, I do apologize. The last thing I want to do is waste someone's time by having them come here to check the bliggity only to find that the last post was 4 days ago. I mean, come on, you have important things to do, like check 12 other blogs!

Got blog? Well sorta.

Just wondering...

2005-10-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

Does anyone ever come here anymore? If so, reply to this post. You can even criticize me for not keeping up with my blog. But I've had a lot on my plate lately. Plus, I just never think that anything going on in my life is worth blogging about.

Maybe I need to eat more Pablo's burritos. Yeah, that blog was particularly inspired. My wife likes to blog about laundry and housework, I like to blog about food. Hmmmm.

Anyways, if you're out there reading this, I apologize for my liggity laziness in keeping up with the Bliggity Blaggity Blog. I will try to do better.

Tru dat.

Update 2

2005-09-24T19:01:00.000-07:00

The final update.

LOL..so I was hoping to have all these progress reports of how things were coming along my journey. Well, I am home now. So let me fill you in on some of the highlights.

After my delay in Chicago, I arrived in Norfolk, VA. And only 7 hours late! BAH! Thankfully, the guy I was meeting was flexible and was able to pick me up at the airport. He and his wife took me to their townhouse in Norfolk, and there she was....the reason for the trip...the, no my....new (actually used)...2004....black....Scion xB. Yay.

Ok...now reality sets in. I am 1200 miles from home, I got a half a tank of gas, and I'm not wearing sunglasses. Hit it!

I took off to the north with only a car, a few clothes, a laptop, a pda, an atlas, my wallet, some mapquest maps (ok maybe I had a lot of stuff). My first fun experience was driving under what I think was Chesapeake bay. Yeah, there is a tunnle bridge (I think that's what they call it). Pretty neat.

From there, I drove up around Richmond, on by DC, and up into Pennsylvania. Ok. I must pause here and focus on Pennsylvania. I HATE Pennsylvania. I'm sure it's a beautiful state IN THE DAYTIME!!!! But the only two times I've driven through it, it has been night, and there has been construction. Needless to say, I found a nice rest area complex and parked the xB to catch some shut-eye. I think it was somewhere between 2:00 and 3:00 am...I'm not sure...I was feeling rather tired at the moment.

Fast forward. I wake up at 6:00 and look out the window...Burger King. Yes. Grab a bite to eat, and back on the road.

From here on out, it's nothing but drive and stop for gas/food, drive, stop for gas/food. Repeat that cycle for the next 14 hours. I arrived home around 8:00 pm. Safe and sound.

Update 1

2005-09-24T19:00:00.001-07:00

My dad dropped me off at the airport and all was well. Besides a little post-flu queasiness, I was feeling pretty good.

Flight into Chicago was fine, arrived on time, plenty of time to make my connecting flight to Cleveland. In fact, the gate was just across from our arrival gate.

Flight to Cleveland boards on time, but then, it happens. All people please de-plane. Maintenance says that the aircraft has issues, we will update you in a half hour. Moans and groans can be heard throughout the plane cabin. But then, the startling news starts to cross my ears. "I've been trying to get to Cleveland since Tuesday", says one lady. Another group of passengers laments that they were supposed to fly out last night and that flight was cancelled too. This is not sounding good.

I deplane and wait in line at the ticket counter to find out what I'm supposed to do. If the plane leaves a half hour late, I can make my connection in Cleveland. If the flight cancels, not a chance. After listening to other people complain and take their frustrations out at the lady at the ticket counter, I feel pretty calm and explain to her my situation. She is more that willing to help me get to my destination. As I am talking to her, she gets news on her monitor that the flight is cancelled. She schedules me for a direct flight, bypassing Cleveland. However, that flight doesn't leave until 3:36 pm. And arrives at 6:46 pm. That's 5 and a half hours later than I was supposed to arrive. Oh well. What can you do? I am at the mercy of the airlines at this point. If, for some reason, the flight direct cancels, I'm not sure what I will do.

So, now I have 7 hours to hang out at Chicago O'hare. I don't have any DVD's, my cell battery is almost dead. So, maybe I will do some INSTE or play solitaire.

End Update.

I...am....alive...

2005-09-24T19:00:00.000-07:00

updates to follow

Road Trip

2005-09-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

I'll be taking a road trip this weekend. Just me and the open road. I plan on taking my laptop with me so that I can highjack internet along the way to update my blog. We'll just have to see how well that goes.

It will be a long, lonely, and boring trip. But hey, at least no potty breaks every 15 minutes. LOL. I should be able to make good time, and I'm looking forward to calculating out the gas mileage on my PDA. (Does that make me a geek?)

The total trip distance is about 1200 miles. I figure if I can average 30 mpg, thats only 40 gallons of gas at an estimated $3/gal. $120. Not bad. Our van cost $90 the last time we filled it and we only get about 360 miles on a tank when we drive locally.

Time wise, if I can average 60 miles an hour (probably not possible), then I'll be looking at 1200 minutes of driving time or 20 hours. Ouch. But it should be fun. I'll get to see parts of America, that I normally wouldn't see. Get to experience the fun of spontaneous travel with all the unforseen issues that can arise. Who knows what people, places, and things lie ahead?

Anyway, this is just the opener to my Road Trip adventure. I'll blog an entry just before I fly out. Then, hopefully will follow with regular updates.

You have GOT to be kidding me...

2005-09-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

In the news:

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian man built up a 40,000-volt charge of static electricity in his clothes as he walked, leaving a trail of scorched carpet and molten plastic and forcing firefighters to evacuate a building.

Frank Clewer, who was wearing a woolen shirt and a synthetic nylon jacket, was oblivious to the growing electrical current that was building up as his clothes rubbed together.

When he walked into a building in the country town of Warrnambool in the southern state of Victoria Thursday, the electrical charge ignited the carpet.

"It sounded almost like a firecracker," Clewer told Australian radio Friday.

"Within about five minutes, the carpet started to erupt."

Employees, unsure of the cause of the mysterious burning smell, telephoned firefighters who evacuated the building.

"There were several scorch marks in the carpet, and we could hear a cracking noise -- a bit like a whip -- both inside and outside the building," said fire official Henry Barton.

Firefighters cut electricity to the building thinking the burns might have been caused by a power surge.

Clewer, who after leaving the building discovered he had scorched a piece of plastic on the floor of his car, returned to seek help from the firefighters.

"We tested his clothes with a static electricity field meter and measured a current of 40,000 volts, which is one step shy of spontaneous combustion, where his clothes would have self-ignited," Barton said.

"I've been firefighting for over 35 years and I've never come across anything like this," he said.

Firefighters took possession of Clewer's jacket and stored it in the courtyard of the fire station, where it continued to give off a strong electrical current.

David Gosden, a senior lecturer in electrical engineering at Sydney University, told Reuters that for a static electricity charge to ignite a carpet, conditions had to be perfect.

"Static electricity is a similar mechanism to lightning, where you have clouds rubbing together and then a spark generated by very dry air above them," said Gosden.

Too funny. I can just picture some oblivious man walking around as stuff behind him starts igniting.

Crazy-Go-Nuts University

2005-09-13T11:02:00.000-07:00

My wife had a fun day yesterday. You can read about it here.

When all is said and done.

2005-09-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't maintain my daily blog, to the disapproval of my wife. I can only say that I tried. Maybe next time I will go three days in a row.

"When all is said and done.
When all is gone and still just begun
I will be asked
What I did with my time and why
Can you be my alibi"

Love that song. Alibi, by Blindside.

But it does have so much truth to it. What do we do with our time? What really does matter when all is said and done?

The Daily Blog

2005-09-02T09:33:00.000-07:00

My wife thinks that a blog has to be updated daily. This coming from one who doesn't have a blog of her own! Sheesh, the nerve.

Well, I am trying to fullfill her wishes. Problem is, I don't like to write if I don't have anything to write about. Like now...I'm writing about writing. Oi.

Let's see, I could launch into a detailed analysis of the physical, spiritual, and moral conditions that face folks in the aftermath of Katrina.

I could write a ditty about some spiritual or life lesson that I have been taught recently.

However, I think that I will opt for something more...me:

ICHY ICHY KA-PANG KA-PANG ZOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMZAPPPPPPAADEEEEDOOO.

There you have it folks. Two days in a row. Go me.

Behemoth Burritos

2005-09-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

You've got Chipotle's with their witty foil slogans.

You've got Pancheros with their....name?

And you've got Pablo's...the winner.

Pablo's is a local burrito shop that serves, as it's specialty, giant burritos. Today I had my standard Chicken burrito, rice, pinto beans, cheese, sour cream, pico de gallo salsa, and specialty salsa. End weight: 2lbs 14oz. Or at least that's what it felt like when I carried it back to my cube. I only had to switch carrying arms twice. With a rest to catch my breath at the half way point.

But now that it resides in the bottom of my stomach, I'm gonna say it was an easy 3lbs. Minimum. I'd like to see how far I could run with this lump of Mexicana goodness digesting in my innards. I bet I will be comatose by afternoon break.

I don't think I need to eat for a good three days or so. We could use two or three of these to patch the broken levees in New Orleans. Who needs a 15000 pound sandbag, when you can just plop a Pablo's burrito or two in there?

My land. I need to start a Pablo's Burrito Anonymous organization. PBA. Nah, that would tick the Pro Bowler's Association off.

Anyway, one of these days, I'll have the discipline to not finish a Pablo's burrito.

Editor's Note: During the creation of the above blog entry, the author was approached by a fellow employee who, having malicious intent, was armed with a bucket of chocolate chip cookies. Upon hearing the author's plea to politely decline, and the unfortunate circumstances that the author now finds himself in, the perpetrator proceeded to say, and I quote, "Just take two then."

Vacations Are A Must

2005-08-26T10:08:00.000-07:00

By presidential mandate:

All families are hereby required to go on at least one(1) family vacation per year. This mandate applies to all families regardless of the number of dependents.

So, earlier this month, we decide to go on a little vacation. Nothing elaborate or spendy, just a little trip up to Ooma and Dupa's (grandma and grandpa's) cabin. Park Rapids, MN - here we come.

All of us.
In a van.
A Big. Red. Van.

WOOT WOOT! I love driving that thing!

Against my wishes, my wife sets a departure time of 7:00-8:00 am or anything close that she wants. I wanted to load everyone up at 4:30 am and bein the Twin Cities by 8:00.

We got on the road and all was smooth...very smooth to Minneapolis. We made a stop at a family member's apartment to drop a carpet cleaner off.

Number of potty breaks on the way: 1

Back on the road to Park Rapids, again all is smooth. A potty break or two I think. But not an issue as we had to stop for gas. Ouch $60-$70 gas bills is new one for me.

We arrived in Park Rapids on Tuesday, unloaded the van, and headed out to the boat. My dad, who is very systematic and analytical, provided me with a very detailed procedure for setting the boat up and launching it. Once I located the correct page and sub-paragraph in the three-ringed binder, we were off! Our four oldest kids were with me, and I proceeded to drag them around the lake on a tube. Fun time had by all.

The remainder of the week was kinda cool, cloudy, crisp at times, and fun. We fished, swam, boated, ate, and just had an all-around-great-time.

My parents showed up on Friday, wherein I proceeded to teach my dad how to catch fish. hehe. Fish fry that night was awesomage.

Saturday morning, we ate breakfast at a place called the Logging Camp. Great food. Heth was in heaven. All-you-can-eat pancakes. Can I get a WOOT WOOT?!?!

The weather was fairly cool, so we decided to take off for home. Load up Big Red and we are on the road by noon. And then it started.

Potty breaks.

So what? Does a week of vacation shrink a kid's bladder or something? My LanTA!!!!!! We stopped soooooo many times. Turned a 6.5 hour trip into a 10 hour trip. We even had one case of a potty break in the middle of a potty break. I kid you not. Heth and the girls were in the bathroom and just as they are leaving, one of the girls says, "I have to go potty" and runs back in. Unbelievable.

But it was worth it. It is always worth it. That's the reason for the mandate on vacations. As a family, you have to do it. You won't ever regret it. No matter how bad things go, no matter how bad the weather is, no matter how many things you forgot to pack, a family vacation is always better than being at work.

Tru-Dat.

I bought it on eBay...

2005-08-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

(parody of "i want it that way by the backstreet boys)

A used...pink bathrobe
A rare...mint snowglobe
A Smurf...TV tray
I bought on eBay

My house...is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay

I'll buy...your knick-knack
Just check...My feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay

Gonna buy (a slightly damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)
(From some guy) I never met in Norway
Found him on eBay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, whatever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough

I'll buy...your tchotchkes
Sell me...your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy...)
I'm highest bidder now

(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)
(From that world-wide garage sale)
(Hey! A Dukes of Hazzard ashtray)
Oh yeah...(I bought it on eBay)

Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)
(Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre)
(Found it on eBay)

Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcett poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why...The kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)

What I bought on eBay

Eventhough my feedback isn't that high, I do love eBay. This song is just too true! I bought our van off eBay. I've bought computer stuff, paintball stuff, heck I even bought a bunch of Christmas presents for my wife off eBay (bad move).

So this entry is for the eBayer. The one whose life theme is "One man's garbage is another man's treasure"

Yaaaaawwwwn....hmmmm....after 20 years....I want pancakes.

2005-08-04T06:55:00.000-07:00

Clicky.

Amazing. Simply amazing. So this isn't new....it happened back in Feb. How did I miss this one month before Terri Schiavo? Not sure, but I'm glad I found it now.

You can see her site here.

Time Travel and the Modern Day Believer

2005-08-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Albert Einstein.
Emmet Brown.
John Titor.

Names synonomous with Time Travel. What about Jesus Christ? Could this be? Well, I don't claim to know all the ins and outs of relativity and time travel theory, but one thing I do know...it has a lot to do with the speed of light.

And what do ya know? Jesus claimed to be the "Light of the World"!

I'm sure there are numerous articles out there by theophysicists (theologian/physicists) that probably do a great job at looking at the science of theoretical time travel/relativity and how it reconciles with mainstream theology, but I haven't found any.

Please don't get me wrong. I am NOT saying Jesus is a time traveller. I'm saying He is THE ULTIMATE TIME TRAVELLER! No doubt he can manifest His presence at will (zweep! and He appears out of nowhere in the upper room to the disciples (is that a good sound effect for time travel? (zweep!) and do you like how I can make an afterthought{added text to explain further} look like a stinking{not literally smelling - figure of speach[not literal speach, rather typed communication]} mathematical equation?)) <--LOLCOPTERS!

INCOMING!!!!!!!

2005-07-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

Roger that, three bogeys bearing two-seven-zero, 55 knots!

Target acquired, ETA....five hours.

Roger that, you are go for a CTHF. Advise on initial contact that you have tango.

Affirmative.

So, this past weekend, our oldest three have been gone. Up into da great nort dere hey. Uma and Dupe took them to the cabin where they were certain to go fishing, swimming, and who knows what else.

But today, they return. And our lives will be back to normal. Problem is, it was kinda nice having only three little souls to guide through the daily adventure of life. But those thoughts of how "easy" it was to get around, go to the store, eat at a restaurant, etc. are quickly dismissed as new thoughts about what was missing. T-storm, Welly, and Zilla. You just can't replace kids like that. I will be happy with their return. And with them will come the arguments, the bickering, the tattling, the hugs, the hilarious comments, the spirited laughter, the love.

So let them come.

It's all about the chicken fingers.

2005-07-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

When you're a kid, you love chicken fingers. They don't even need to be the real deal. Processed chicken part McNuggets reign supreme.

Then as we grow older, we graduate on to burgers, brats, and steak. But not me. It's all about the chicken fingers. Chicken tenders. Call them what you may, but there is nothing quite so tasty as a good all-white-meat-real-chicken chicken finger.

Over the years I've become somewhat of a connoisseur of chicken fingers and can tell you that not all chicken fingers are created equally. (Note the proper use of the adverb equally which modifies the verb created? Darn Framers and their crappy grammar!)

The best chicken fingers I have ever had were at a seafood place in Vancouver, WA. I can't remember the name of it, but they were sesame breaded tenders of crunchy goodness for sure.

You may wonder why all the obsession with chicken fingers. Easy. I just got back from lunch, where I had of all things, a....

burger? Yeah, right!

Go to the ant, you sluggard!

2005-07-28T06:42:00.000-07:00

MC Escher rules. There is really not more you can say about him than that.

I just now am laughing at myself because I am writing this blog as if it were going to be read by a million people, when in reality, it will most likely only be read by my wife.

Hi wife.

Mini Cooper or xB? Post an answer!

Bliggity Blog

2005-07-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

Got blog?

Bleah.

I am so anti-blog I just had to start a blog about it. Why do people find blogs so interesting? Do we love to find other people whose personalities appeal to us? It is a phenomenon, that's for shizzle.

I'm not smart enough to actually have a blog of my own. I can't write worth crap. I'm not funny on paper. The e-me is such a far cry from the real me that I just type out a bunch of stuff and then delete it because it isn't really me. I want people to know me. Yes, the real me.

Reminds me a song....Building a better me by Dogwood:

Superficial nature wearing thin.

I can't seem to begin.

What really do I see when I stare back at me?

As crushing time reveals my foe,

Inheriting all woe.

Solutions in the past,

Conditioned not to ask.

It's what you're meant to be,

Your name and number.

Be all that you should be.

You will recover things you haven't lost,

Because they don't see you like you think they do.

Please just become you.

Release your fear is what he said.

This all came to a head.

Feel cheated out of you,

Tradition follows through.

Though I can't see how this will end,

I know that you will always pull me through.

My soul went searching for a cause

But came back empty-handed.

The emptiness you see...

Building a better me.